Disrupting the Complacency of Bias – The Zero-Sum Game of Microaggressions and Prejudice
“Don’t give yourself a pass because you said the right thing once. Don’t give yourself a pass because you tried to speak up once.”
The screening of the live killing of George Floyd gave voice to a need to understand systemic racial injustices in some quarters of American society. The intellectual quest and the emotional distress of white people to understand the Black experience in the US created a platform to focus on racism in a society that has predominantly turned a blind eye to the intentional and subconscious subjugation of black and brown people.
Indeed, we have all experienced being the “other” and the sting of not being included at one time or another. But not all of us have the power and the institutional backing to fundamentally change the viability and outcomes of segments of our population. As a brown person - Sikh Indian American female, I can never fully comprehend the experience of being Black in America. I can, however, attest to and share what “otherism” feels like when it is exercised over you with power and immunity.
Perhaps empathy more than reasoning can create a shared experience that allows shifts in consciousness of those with power over the lives of others. Even as we wrestle with the immensity of systemic racism and institutional oppression, discussion is building about everyday prejudice and microaggressions as we see our own complicities and build better awareness. If we recognize and accept responsibility for the otherism that we ourselves cause, the resultant awareness may lead to a shift in thought and behavior to build mutuality.
Definitions
Prejudice and microaggressions are two components in the spectrum of creating otherism.
Prejudice is a construct that is predicated on bias and judgement, albeit it can be unconscious. Prejudice that is verbalized or acted upon is clear to identify. You hear it in words such as “monkey”, “terrorist”, “spic” and “kike” as you walk down the street outside your home. You see it in action when somebody’s kippah, hijab or turban is yanked off their head. You witness it when somebody is pushed around or even killed because they appear effeminate or because of the color of their skin. The intended target is hurt physically, and always emotionally. The act or the word is intended to punish. To right the wrong of the intended target being in the territory of the aggressor.
Microaggressions can be superficially seen as rude or disrespectful behavior, but it is grounded in bias. It is a sense of superiority over another which allows the aggressor to ignore, deride or denigrate the target. The aggressor may well be so self-absorbed or confident in their power that they don’t realize their own behavior or even see anything wrong with it. The aggressor talks over the target or interrupts the target, expresses surprise over the targets’ capacity to speak in English with an American accent, or asks the target to represent an entire race or religion. Microaggressions, when expressed consistently by one person towards another, or over time by multiple aggressors towards an individual, reinforces the same message - the victim is not good enough to be an insider, to be fully accepted.
Point blank prejudice is direct and unambiguous. Even when the words are said in an undertone, you hear it loud and clear. The words amplify in your head and tightly squeeze your heart. The words are intended to put you in your place. To belittle you. To let you know that you don’t belong.
Microaggressions on the other hand, are subtle and quietly slight you. You wonder if you imagined it. You let it pass. And then it happens again. And again. While it takes our minds a while to be able to identify our being the target of on-going microaggressions, our psyche has already internalized the message of being inferior. Regardless of whether the bias is intentional or unconscious, direct or indirect, the implication is the same and the harmful impact on the intended target is significant. Bias gets under the skin of the target and worms its way into eroding their confidence so little at a time that the target themselves isn’t aware of the loss.
While neither prejudice nor microaggressions are the exclusive domain of any one race, it is more often exhibited at the greatest expense of those who are seen and held as weaker in the socio-economic hierarchy. When bias is coupled with power, it becomes racism. When systems and governance practices reinforce racism, and leaders utilize their power to preserve racism, that is then oppression.
The Way Forward
Being biased is a human condition based on our being neurologically wired and socially conditioned to make sense of the world around us and protect our place in it. It is also an intentional way of being to hold power and position. We live in a world that is predicated on inequities and a constant struggle for resources between the haves and the have nots in what becomes a survival of the fittest ethnology. Regardless, it is not for us as responsible citizens of the world to absolve ourselves of our responsibilities. What can we do ourselves without asking others to prove their existence and experience is valid?
Build our own awareness: Consider our own need to exert our primacy in everyday situations in ways that are seemingly innocuous. Take note when you think of some else’s intelligence as inferior to yours when they speak in a different accent from yours or your comfort as more important than someone else’s issue. Consider what you are saying when you say you are not prejudiced because you grew up in a black neighborhood or had a Sikh roommate in college.
Kindness, if not empathy: While we can’t experience another’s lived experience, we can at least believe that their experience is vastly different than one’s own and just as legitimate. White people are very rarely asked to explain why their hair curls or worry about being randomly selected by the TSA for additional screenings every single time they go through security at an American airport. By accepting without judgement and distrust that people from different backgrounds have different experiences when doing the same thing as whites allows us to build towards empathy in how we communicate and act.
Know how little we know, especially as leaders: When we lead, we must inspire, and our words must resonate with each of our constituents for our mission to be truly successful. Consider, however, which constituency we cater to and recognize that that the words we choose mean different things to different people. Diversity and inclusion is an accepted framework for organizations to put out as a welcome mat for people who are non-white. Inclusion, when said as part of an organization’s diversity and inclusion strategy, can be interpreted that people of color and white women can be included in the organization, but not be decision makers.
Take responsibility, be accountable: Commit to listening and learning, and then doing it in a way that allows for on-going growth. Don’t give yourself a pass because you said the right thing once. Don’t give yourself a pass because you tried to speak up once.
This moment of addressing systemic racism in America will also pass if we don’t hold on to seeing ourselves honestly. We need to consider how we judge and use our power to influence day-to-day interactions and decisions to maintain the status-quo which has been historically established to favor white people. The reality is that before we can overhaul systems, we must take personal responsibility to stop acting from bias. To get beyond the confines of the traditional zero-sum game at play we have to start by disrupting our complacencies and create win-win scenarios that enable systemic shifts towards equity to benefit our entire ecosystem.